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LATE-NIGHT $5 WALMART MASSAGES: A WALK-THROUGH

 

late night five dollar walmart massage

It’s 2:00 AM and all is quiet at Walmart. At the front of the store is Game Play, a modest room of arcade games.

toy games late night five dollar walmart massage

For a few quarters one can try their hand at winning a prize.

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Like these stuffed toys stricken with PTSD.

old candy machines homies late night five dollar walmart massage

Two bits gets you candy manufactured during the first Clinton era. (Remember Homies, though?)

pumbaa ride late night five dollar walmart massage

Pumbaa laughs eternally in the back.

cheap candy late night five dollar walmart massage

This was full of cheap candy.

massage chairs late night five dollar walmart massage

But the real star at Game Play are these chairs.

first class late night five dollar walmart massage

These are super badass massage chairs.

late night five dollar walmart massage

They massage your head…

late night five dollar walmart massage

…your calves…

late night five dollar walmart massage

…and your back.

late night five dollar walmart massage

And come with complimentary discarded candy wrappers.

unbelievable late night five dollar walmart massage

Here’s the most unbelievable part: for just $5 you can have a massage for 31 minutes. More than half an hour!

late night five dollar walmart massage

I just so happened to have a fairly crisp, five-dollar bill.

late night five dollar walmart massage

But the chair wouldn’t accept it. After several attempts I realized it was unplugged so I moved to the next one.

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And it was glorious!

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And joyous!

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Within a few minutes I fell into zen mode.

late night five dollar walmart massage

The quiet emptiness of the store was calming.

late night five dollar walmart massage

It was serene.

late night five dollar walmart massage

I have found my Bat Cave, nay my Fortress of Solitude.

late night five dollar walmart massage

Here was another shopper.

airbnb late night five dollar walmart massage

I plan on Airbnb-ing this place.

late night five dollar walmart massage

After my massage I decided to leave a treat for the next guest.

late night five dollar walmart massage

Conclusion: the best $5 I’ve ever spent.

— Paul

 

Walmart Supercenter
125 Bleachery Rd.
Asheville, NC 28805
(828) 298-8092