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tgi fridays baller food forreal

This T.G.I. Friday’s is located next to the Biltmore House in Asheville, North Carolina, one of America’s most popular tourist attractions. This restaurant will probably never go out of business.

give me more tgi fridays

Came here on a Saturday.

where is the flair tgi fridays

Fashionable but had no flair. I miss the flair.

classic booth tgi fridays

The air smelled stale and putrid but didn’t detract from the cool, classic design of this booth.

floor tiles tgi fridays

The floor tiles make cleaning up vomit a cinch.

hottie christen fulk

Christen graciously agreed to be my date and fellow taste tester.

wearing a suit at tgi fridays

To commemorate this visit I wore a suit.

ketchup salt pepper tgi fridays

In hindsight this was the best dish at this place.

jack daniels tgi fridays

What goes well with nauseating food? Whiskey!

tgi fridays forced into early retirement

Sign of the economic times.

great server tgi fridays asheville

This is Yahsnnia, a perfect server and shining light of this restaurant. In all seriousness she was cool with our shenanigans and was super friendly.

qr code tgi fridays asheville

QR code? I can’t resist such modern technology.

tgi fridays jump the line pass

This is where the QR code took me. My password is “donotresuscitate.”

make america great again tgi fridays

For signing up I got this “Jump the Line” pass and a “Make America Great Again” hat.

appetizers sampler tgi fridays

The app sampler looked baller…

app sampler tgi fridays

…but tasted like death. All of the fried food had the same old, rancid oil flavor.

beef stroganoff tgi fridays asheville north carolina

The beef stroganoff gets a bonus for the toaster strudel icing.

jack daniels glazed ribs of death tgi fridays asheville nc

This was the Jack Daniel’s glazed ribs and fried shrimp.

jack daniels glaze human lungs smoking tgi fridays

The Jack Daniel’s sauce reminded me of human lungs after a lifetime of smoking. It tasted like sickly sweet plastic.

worst food of all time tgi fridays

The fried shrimp disintegrated on contact with my mouth. It turned into a sandy texture contrasted by acidic candied sweetness from the sauce. It was one of my worst bites of all time.

half rack of ribs tgi fridays asheville

I mistakenly ordered an extra half-rack of ribs.

sizzling chicken shrimp tgi fridays

I got the sizzling chicken and shrimp.

not too bad shrimp tgi fridays

This shrimp was not too bad.


Underneath the chicken was a sizzling golem of peppers, onions, and the worst cheese I’ve ever tasted.


I used this cold, boneless chicken bite to wash out my mouth.


As I boxed everything up, my sizzling chicken dish magically turned into a crepe!

gin good

How did we keep all of this down? Gin. Lots and lots of gin.


Free dessert. Free coma.


In college I would’ve killed this.


We were going to give the leftovers to someone who might’ve wanted it…


…but decided it would be cruel and unusual.


T.G.I. Friday’s: only if the zombie apocalypse is happening and McDonald’s is closed and gas station sandwiches are sold out.

— Paul


T.G.I. Friday’s
115 Hendersonville Rd.
Asheville, NC 28803
(828) 277-4080